R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
