nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
