He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just puked most of my soul out..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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