new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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