At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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