those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
