He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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