Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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