he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
