Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
