I think my fart just growled at me.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
