i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
