I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
