omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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