He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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