I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
