My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's never too late to be topless.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize