So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
