Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
