Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize