I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
