A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
