U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
