Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
