New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
