She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
