I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
