im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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