Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
