Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Slut skills are useful in every country.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
