So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
