So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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