i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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