I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
