You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize