Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
