new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
