You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
