what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
