Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
