Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
