I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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