I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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