I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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