As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
