I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
