Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
