did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my shit smells like andre
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
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