i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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