His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
