I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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