watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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