i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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