honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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