I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
