They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
